My Casper
by cullenbabe
Summary: Bella is haunted by her dead husband's ghost  but in a nice way . How is it to lose a loved one only to have him back? What's really in the after life? Who can answer that? Definitely not this fic!


A/N: Yes, I know I've been bad. Had a really bad case or writer's block. Also, there's real life that got in the way. So, sorry. Here's a new one though that just popped in my head and screamed at me to get out. I hope you like this one. Let me know if you do. Or you don't. whatever.

I know it seems irresponsible to deliver this to you without any form of editing but if I did it, I'm not sure if I can ever get this out. So, please keep the bashing to the minimum and just try to enjoy it. Or ignore it. Whatever.

Honestly, reviews are a big boost to my ego (hehe) and they really can inspire me to write more (and often) so do be cool and leave me one (or two) if you enjoyed this in any way.

I'm outlining chapters for this one but reviews will dictate if this is worth continuing (or not. Hint. Hint J

Now, on with the show!

My Casper

I have a secret, one I have not told a single soul.

Remember that Bruce Willis movie "The Sixth Sense"? Yeah. I'm like that kid. I don't see dead people though. I see a dead person. Yes, you heard me right. Only one. Sorry, but I can't give you a specific explanation as to why I can't see a parade of restless, invisible souls of all sizes and shapes, floating in mid-air, going through walls, hurling drawers into thin air, etcetera. I'm quite sure I'm as in tune with my psychic capabilities as the majority of people are - meaning, not so much. In fact, I didn't have a solid belief in souls, the afterlife and crossing over to the other side. Frankly, I thought all of those were … crap. So, I'm sure you can imagine the cardiac arrest-inducing moment when the ethereal, transparent, smoke-like likeness of my dead husband materialized before my eyes.

It was only a few moments right after his body was laid to rest on the cold earth. Sure, my eyes were totally swollen from all the bawling I was doing but, hey, you can't blame me. I was a grieving wife! And why wouldn't I grieve? I was married to the love of my life - an extremely gorgeous, hunk of a man, sexy, caring, loving and wildly passionate. It was extremely difficult to keep my hands off him, to have my fill of him. He thought I was his treasure and he never failed to show me just how important I was in his life. We thought that we were going to be together forever, have ten beautiful, blonde or brown-haired children, make passionate love as long we can and grow old together. So, I'm sure you'll understand how cheated I felt, how unfair it all was for me to be a widow after only a year of marriage. For a couple so in love like Jasper and myself, a year of wedded bliss is as quick as a blink of an eye.

Going back to that first time Jasper's soul came to me… My eyes were almost swollen shut from days and days of crying. There were times I amazed myself because the tears never stopped coming. I was an honest-to-goodness tear factory.

As soon as my husband's shiny coffin was lowered into the earth, I felt the cold, suffocating sensation of panic growing in my chest. I wanted to push everyone aside, lift the cold metallic box with my bare hands, extricate my husband's cold, lifeless form out of it and just whisk him away where no one can take him from me. Of course, I never did it because honestly …. that would be gross. So, I resorted to despairing about the loss of my beloved and made do with crying my heart out. I remember my father's strong arms protectively slung across my shoulder as hiccups found their way to my throat. Snot collecting in my sodden hanky, I looked up from the fresh mound of dirt and right there, directly above it is the same beautiful, wispy but naked form of my Jasper. I blinked once. Twice. Then, A few more times. I'm glad nobody caught that on video because I'm sure I would have looked stupid but, blinked and blinked I did as an effort to clear the apparition before me. No matter how many times I did though, his all too-familiar handsome face (with his usual sexy grin to boot) stared back at me, eyebrows waggling, right hand raised in a small wave. I wanted to wave back but stopped myself in the last moment. If blinking wouldn't work how about if I open my eyes really wide? That I did. Several times. Nope! Still there. He raised his hand again, wriggling his fingers in an almost comical fashion this time. Still at me. My jaw almost fell to the soft, wet grass-covered earth. He lifted his index finger to his lips. Quiet? Then, he mouthed the words "Talk. Later". Okay. I can handle that. I was going to talk to my dead husband's smoky version later. Right.

My father ushered me to the reception area where all our friends, relatives and co-workers were headed but I stopped him. "I need some time alone, dad. Is that okay?"

My dad's lips pursed in thought and he nodded. "Sure, sweetheart. Call me when you need anything okay? I'll wait for you inside". With a final nod and a gentle kiss on my forehead he walked away. I, on the other hand, walked to the opposite direction towards the parking area. As soon as I pulled the door close, Jasper appeared beside me.

"Casper!"

"Wrong spirit, honey!" Jasper's mouth twitched.

"I mean, Jasper!" Stupid mouth. "What are you doing here? Are you for real?" I reached out to touch his face but my hand felt nothing, only air. That made me sad all the more. If that were possible.

"I'm not sure…" He seemed pensive for an instant. "But … we're talking aren't we? So, I must be real" .

My lips quivered with the sudden torrent of emotion - love, pain, loss, surprise, relief, frustration. I love him but I lost him, but he's back yet I can't touch him. I can talk to him though, but until when?

"Honey, I want you to hold me. So much", I whispered, a plea evident in my tone. Tears swiftly flowed down my cheeks. See? I tell you I never run out of them!

"Bella, honey. Don't cry. It hurts me so much to see you cry. Hush now, please. Sssshhhh… I love you so much and it hurts me to see you this way. So broken. I can't even do anything about it. I can't hold you, touch you. I can only talk to you, honey. So, please. I don't want to see you cry", his form shimmered while he spoke. The panic crept its way into my heart once more, cold and angry. He's disappearing! No!

"No! No! Don't go, Jas!" I almost screamed in the silent interior of the car. I was so glad I chose this place and not a room inside the reception hall otherwise, I'd be straight-jacketed in two minutes flat and committed before sunset.

"Sshhh. Sshhh. I'm here. I'm not going away". And true to his word, my beloved stayed. His smoky form appeared to be thicker and solid, like opaque white paint filling in outlines of a caricature. I nodded and swallowed my fear. Somehow, I realized that if I could manage to hold it together, he can stay with me.

We tried to hold hands, hug, kiss and just touch in the hour or so that we talked in the car. I just missed him so much. I craved his touch. Each time his essence touched my skin, I felt a gentle tug in my heart. And you know that warm, cozy feeling you get when somebody you really love embraces you? That's exactly how it was for me each time his smoky "skin" touched mine. I realized this was more than enough for me. I can spend eternity being thankful for the chance to see and communicate with Jasper even if physically I couldn't touch him anymore. I counted my blessings that day. I was thankful.

We talked about how it was for me when the doctors told me he didn't make it in the surgery, that they tried to save him. The injuries he sustained in the car collision with a drunk driver were just too massive. Surviving the ordeal would take superhuman skills. Sadly, Jasper and the doctors had none. He explained to me his transition from his earth body to his spirit form. He said he felt .. Light. Sure. No big surprise there. But that managed to get a giggle from me. Silly Jasper. Even his Casper-form can still make me laugh.

On that day, I buried my husband and got him back again (although not his whole tangible body but, who's complaining?). And so, when my father rapped on the car window and asked "Bella, are you okay?", I had a smile on my face as I stepped out and held his hand.

"Yes, daddy. Everything's so much better now". I stole a glance over my shoulder, my eyes no longer laden with grief. Just in time, I caught my Jasper's mischievous grin. He winked, blew me a kiss and mouthed "Talk. Later".

I nodded in agreement. Talk later, indeed.

How was that, guys?

Well, I've always been fascinated with life after death (so ignore the jibe I made in the story that I didn't believe in afterlife). Near-death experiences extremely pique my interest. I swear I've got several relatives, churchmates and friends who in turn swear to the veracity of this phenomenon. They said they have experienced it themselves so who am I to oppose that? Do you have your own near death experience to tell?


End file.
